We had another ultrasound on Thursday and the technician said she is 90% certain the baby is a boy. Based on the ultrasound picture she showed us if it's not a boy it's a girl with a significant problem. So we are going with it's a boy and grateful all looks well.
This week has been filled with some voices of disappointment when I told people I was having another boy and truthfully I was a little disappointed I will not have a girl. When asked if I am disappointed the only thing I can think to say is that I am not disappointed it is a boy, I am disappointed that I will never have a girl.
I think beyond that what I have realized this week is that I am struggling more with this being my last baby than I realized. I am so grateful the InVitro worked and feel so blessed however I always thought I would have more than two babies to raise. When I was young I was one of those girls at church who asked to hold every baby. I started babysitting when I was ten and I wanted a lot of children.
I don't think most of our lives turn out the way we expect and there are times in our lives when each of us grieve that ideal, fairytale life we imagined as little girls. So, right now I am grieving that ideal imagined family of several babies to raise but also rejoicing in the blessing of the family I never imagined led by a husband who is more than I imagined, two sweet stepdaughters who are so kind to me, the opportunity to be a nana while being a mom, and two sweet boys to raise. My life is blessed beyond measure and I am grateful on this Valentine's Day for all the love that is mine.
June 15, 2016
10 years ago
6 comments:
I like what you said, "I don't think most of our lives turn out the way we expect and there are times in our lives when each of us grieve that ideal, fairytale life we imagined as little girls."
As you know, I can deffinately relate. But who knows the opportunities you'll have in the future? Maybe grand baby girls you'll be able to spoil beyond belief? Who knows.
We have one sweet granddaughter, Jordyn, but the poor girl can only wear so many flowers and bows.
She is quickly being outnumbered by 3 brothers, one nephew and 3 uncles!
I can't wait to see what the new baby is going to look like. I can't even imagine, maybe more like you? or Jeremy's twin? Can't wait.
Have you come up with any good JP names yet? How have you been feeling?
Have you come up with any good JP names yet? How have you been feeling?
Hopefully the baby will look a lot like Jeremy. We did pretty good with him but we'll have to wait and see.
We have pretty much narrowed it down to Jared, Joel or Justin although Jonah could be in the running. The middle name will likely be Pieter in honor of Jesse and the many Pieter's in the family. Still debating on which spelling to use... Pieter or Peter.
Feeling pretty good but still not really showing just looking more like I am severely bloated rather than pregnant.
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