What the heck???

I’m still pregnant but they don’t know where my embryo is…

I went in on Monday to have blood work to confirm a miscarriage and was sent on my way with a, "see you in a month." I was called later that afternoon with a message telling me my HCG levels were a little high so the doctor wanted to see me on Thursday. This morning I met with my doctor who did some more blood work and said he was sure I had miscarried and that my HCG levels were probably just on their way back down after the miscarriage. When I asked about the chance of an ectopic pregnancy he laughed and said, "You would know by know if the pregnancy had been ectopic." Meaning I would have been doubled over in horrendous pain from a ruptured ectopic pregnancy - not an easy thing to miss. Oh, the overwhelming RELIEF that I missed that experience...

So this afternoon I received a call that my HCG levels are still climbing - meaning I am still some form of pregnant – “but they can't imagine why... The pregnancy may be ectopic...They aren't really sure...Come in first thing tomorrow...By the way, if you have any severe pain or bleeding go directly to an ER. “This is very serious Susan; if it is ectopic and it ruptures you can bleed out.” Righty Oh!! I have made a mental note and now can't sleep. It's not really the bleeding out I am worried about; it's the living through the horrendous pain first.

So... if you haven't picked up on this yet, I am actually at the point where I think the whole thing is comical. It may be the $4000 worth of hormones I have been injecting my body with over the past 8 weeks or the stress of the past two weeks - you know how our hormones and/or stress can make us a little irrational?? I think I'm there. Laugh with me. Right now it’s funny. But, if there is another special musical number this Sunday, the likes of the one we had last Sunday, I offer no guarantees about my emotional state but hope someone will please escort me out of the building to protect my dignity and to protect others from witnessing the ugly cry that may or may not happen.

I'll update you later - after they find my embryo.