I’m still pregnant but they don’t know where my embryo is…
I went in on Monday to have blood work to confirm a miscarriage and was sent on my way with a, "see you in a month." I was called later that afternoon with a message telling me my HCG levels were a little high so the doctor wanted to see me on Thursday. This morning I met with my doctor who did some more blood work and said he was sure I had miscarried and that my HCG levels were probably just on their way back down after the miscarriage. When I asked about the chance of an ectopic pregnancy he laughed and said, "You would know by know if the pregnancy had been ectopic." Meaning I would have been doubled over in horrendous pain from a ruptured ectopic pregnancy - not an easy thing to miss. Oh, the overwhelming RELIEF that I missed that experience...
So this afternoon I received a call that my HCG levels are still climbing - meaning I am still some form of pregnant – “but they can't imagine why... The pregnancy may be ectopic...They aren't really sure...Come in first thing tomorrow...By the way, if you have any severe pain or bleeding go directly to an ER. “This is very serious Susan; if it is ectopic and it ruptures you can bleed out.” Righty Oh!! I have made a mental note and now can't sleep. It's not really the bleeding out I am worried about; it's the living through the horrendous pain first.
So... if you haven't picked up on this yet, I am actually at the point where I think the whole thing is comical. It may be the $4000 worth of hormones I have been injecting my body with over the past 8 weeks or the stress of the past two weeks - you know how our hormones and/or stress can make us a little irrational?? I think I'm there. Laugh with me. Right now it’s funny. But, if there is another special musical number this Sunday, the likes of the one we had last Sunday, I offer no guarantees about my emotional state but hope someone will please escort me out of the building to protect my dignity and to protect others from witnessing the ugly cry that may or may not happen.
I'll update you later - after they find my embryo.
June 15, 2016
10 years ago
5 comments:
What a roller coaster ride for you!! I hope for the best and that you just have one sneaky baby who it looks like is really going to like hide and seek when he/she gets older. As always you are in our prayers.
That's kindof scary though. Isn't it crazy that when things are out of your control you can rather go nuts or find a reason to laugh and pray for the best! We only pray for the best outcome for your family.
Soo... I was thinking of the Celestial Kingdom the other day, still reaching for it and thought, hey, maybe they won't let you in if you can't get love or at least get along with everyone. So... I thought, hey here's a girl who did nothing but be caught up in a family drama and marry the man of her dreams. Seems she has just as many trials as me (I think it's a requesite) and thought I'd let go of the irritation I've had at her for waltzing in and thinking she could share my mother spot.
Well, I did the labor and I love them with every inch of who I am, but , hey, in deference to an Eternal Mother, I suppose I'm glad that you are in their life, and know that you are fortunate to have my daughters in yours.
Best wishes with your future pregnancies, I whole heart -edly hope you continue to be happy and either get the babies you dream of, or get a rest for the Millenial baby bash ( how many could we do in 1,000 years?).
Want to be Sisters in Zion?
Couldn't hurt.
Kristine- mother of Rachie and Kristi Em.
Susan,
I am going crazy wondering if you are doing OK. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers!
Love, Jen
I feel your pain and your courage. I pray for you everyday. I only want you to have the little one you so deserve. God does love you and someday in his time and way he will answer your prayers. It does get better I promise!
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