My father passed away on the morning of July 3rd. It is still hard to believe he is gone. I feel that no matter your age, you are never prepared for the loss of a parent. I feel blessed to have had him as my father.
I gave my father's eulogy. I don't think there exists any "speech" that carries more weight or responsibility than when you are asked to speak about any person's life. I felt the honor and responsibility of being asked to eulogize my father.
My father had a military funeral. As funerals go, it is an amazing experience to see a military funeral and I am grateful my father was honored this way.
I gave my father's eulogy. I don't think there exists any "speech" that carries more weight or responsibility than when you are asked to speak about any person's life. I felt the honor and responsibility of being asked to eulogize my father.
My father had a military funeral. As funerals go, it is an amazing experience to see a military funeral and I am grateful my father was honored this way.
The oldest grandson, from each of my father's children, was a pallbearer. Each grandson picked one of my dad's ties and wore it that day. Jeremy was assisted by Jerry.
My brother-in-law presented the flag to my mother.
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My father was born in the basement apartment of his paternal grandparents' home in Springville, Utah, on the 24th of July. When he was two years old, his parents moved to Southern California. My father attended high school and would have lettered in gymnastics were it not for a little side trip to Tijuana one day during his senior year when he should have been at school. When he was 16, he met my mother Alta Lee Griffin at a church dance. They were married in Long Beach, California on November 11, 1953. We knew our mother was the love of his life. Not only by the words that he spoke but by his actions up until the day before he died when he took her car, filled it up with gas, and had it washed for her.
My parents considered each one of their children miracles. I consider it one of the great blessings of my life to have been one of their youngest children and to have had the opportunity to experience their joy and heartache as each of their children went through each success and trial as they moved away from home, married and had children. I witnessed my parents rejoice and grieve over each child and especially for those who at times could not feel the depth of their love for them. From my parents each of us had the opportunity to experience unconditional love and gain a greater understanding of our Heavenly Father’s love for us.
My father had an incredible work ethic both in his employment and in his home. He taught each of us the value of work through his example. During a period of years early in my parents’ marriage, my father worked two jobs and went to school full time. While we were growing up, my father raised rabbits, cows, pigs and chickens to supplement our groceries. Although my father had success providing for his family, I believe the greatest work my parents did was within our home including assisting with raising nieces and nephews, grandnephews, and grandchildren when called upon.
As his children grew older and experienced the deeper trials that come with adulthood, marriage, divorce and family some of us and I don’t know who, began to refer to my father as The Rock because he was steadfast and immovable in a crisis. We knew we could lean on him and he would be available for us. My father loved to run errands but never more so than when someone’s heart was breaking. Sometimes hurt was too big for him to heal but he felt he could help by doing the mundane tasks that would overwhelm us in the midst of heartbreak, grief and trials. We would jokingly tell my dad to get his superhero cape that we had errands for him and one day he bought himself one that he wore proudly but mostly to make us laugh through our tears. I do not know how many shirts my mother washed that we stained with mascara and tears as most of his children at one time or another could be found wrapped in the safety of his arms weeping out the sorrows of our hearts.
As we have been gathered this week, there were remembrances and universal themes about my father that continued to come up. My father was tenderhearted. Some said how generous he was. How kind. He wanted to make everyone happy. He was devoted to his family. He always wanted to help us and this was said by both children and grandchildren. He would always tell us he didn’t have money when we were growing up but he always had money in his wallet. Always…He could not stand to have an empty wallet. When we were younger, the money in his wallet often may have been the only money my parents did have until the next paycheck but he always had money in his wallet. He hated contention. He was a peacemaker. He always had to run errands. He wanted to be going somewhere. He would be in a hurry to get somewhere and would start jingling his keys when he was ready to go to the next place or go home. He quietly led and did not need the spotlight. He could do handstands on the diving board. He could roller-skate and could even roller-skate backwards. He loved hiking and camping. He went to girl’s camp every year for many years as the Priesthood representative. He used to sunbathe by the pool. Some of would have rather been hit than to have him tell us, “I am so disappointed in you.” He didn’t have a lot to say but when he did we wanted to listen. We knew he loved us even though he didn’t have a lot to say. As soon as money was less of an issue for my parents, he would always pay for everything. He wanted to take care of us still even after we were grown. Only he knew how to load the dishwasher right but we wish he would have discovered this before we all left home. He loved the newspaper and read it every day until his eyesight began to deteriorate. Oreo cookies were usually available and he would stock the jar but if it was empty he would always make a special trip to get Oreo cookies for his grandson Alex. He let the grandkids put bows in his hair and comb his hair. He couldn’t stand to talk on the phone but would listen to us visit in person for hours. He loved his tough guy image and would often say, “I am smiling you just can’t see it.” He was faithful in church attendance and rarely missed. He had the worst taste in eye wear. Why the ugly eyeglasses dad?? Why? He hated chipped nail polish on any of his girls. He loved the baptistery! He loved his service there and we loved that this was one of the ways he chose to stay busy when they moved here (St George, Utah). My sister Kathryn said that she and her family knew that serving in the temple blessed him and was an incredible example to her children.
As generous, as my father was and he was so generous, he could be unbelievably cheap. Sometimes we would slide extra money to waiters after he had just taken us out to eat and insisted on paying the bill. He hated tipping in restaurants. We grew up with a father who worried about money but who would always tells us, “If it’s only money, you have no problems.” However, he would be the first to try to solve our problems with any money he had.
My father valued education, regardless of what stage of life he was in or we were in. He wanted us to pursue as much education as possible. He couldn’t put all of us through school but he did all he could at whatever stage each of us were in our lives and he in his, to support our educational pursuits.
My father had an unshakeable testimony of tithing and supporting missionaries. He had and would continue to tell each of us to always pay the Lord before we paid anybody else.
Priesthood blessings were mentioned most consistently. My father truly had a gift for giving beautiful and inspired priesthood blessings. One granddaughter said, “His priesthood blessings were some of my favorites.” Several of us gained testimonies of the gospel specifically because of the way dad honored his priesthood. I will miss the warmth of his hands being placed on my head and the feeling of peace that would wash over me as soon as my father would being to pronounce my name as he started a blessing. His Father’s Blessings brought each of us through some of our darkest moments thus far.
His grandchildren remember him for making the best “bug juice” which was a special fruit drink he loved to tease the kids about. They remembered that he wanted to make them happy. Tiffiny would sit in his recliner just so he would kick her out. Alex, as a little boy, loved his rides in the white truck. He LOVED his grandpa’s truck. His oldest grandson Noa said he remembered big bear hugs where grandpa would act like, “I was squeezing the paste out of him.” Noa who is also an adult and a father of three told the things he learned that I am so sure my father was pleased to hear him say. He said, I always had such a feeling of peace and love and acceptance from him and that from grandpa he learned that you do what you need to do to provide for your family. He said, I learned the value of women…how much he respected grandma and his mom and his girls. Noa remembered him staying steady and staying on the path. My father would have been honored my those remembrances.
My dad was not perfect. He mellowed with age but as we were growing up he was a disciplinarian. We knew without questions where the boundaries were and we knew not to cross them. Russ told of the time that dad sold their motor bikes after they had told not to ride them on the streets and they were caught breaking that rule. We all had a healthy respect for my father.
My father loved to provide service for his family but no service was greater to him than the service he could provide my mother.
The only thing that eases the burden of our loss of our father is knowing the tremendous burden he was facing in losing his eyesight and his ability to drive. He would have hated being dependent and more then being dependent he would have hated not to being able to run errands. Although this day is hard, we know my parents were facing hard days ahead and we feel blessed that my father was spared losing eyesight, his license and his freedom.
He was our hero, he was a husband, a brother, an uncle, he was our daddy, our father, a grandfather, he was our patriarch and most especially he was our knight in shining armor. We love you and your influence in our lives more than any eulogy written for you could ever express but I hope in some small way I have captured your spirit dad. We will go on and be happy however, you lived your life well and we will feel your loss deeply.
My parents considered each one of their children miracles. I consider it one of the great blessings of my life to have been one of their youngest children and to have had the opportunity to experience their joy and heartache as each of their children went through each success and trial as they moved away from home, married and had children. I witnessed my parents rejoice and grieve over each child and especially for those who at times could not feel the depth of their love for them. From my parents each of us had the opportunity to experience unconditional love and gain a greater understanding of our Heavenly Father’s love for us.
My father had an incredible work ethic both in his employment and in his home. He taught each of us the value of work through his example. During a period of years early in my parents’ marriage, my father worked two jobs and went to school full time. While we were growing up, my father raised rabbits, cows, pigs and chickens to supplement our groceries. Although my father had success providing for his family, I believe the greatest work my parents did was within our home including assisting with raising nieces and nephews, grandnephews, and grandchildren when called upon.
As his children grew older and experienced the deeper trials that come with adulthood, marriage, divorce and family some of us and I don’t know who, began to refer to my father as The Rock because he was steadfast and immovable in a crisis. We knew we could lean on him and he would be available for us. My father loved to run errands but never more so than when someone’s heart was breaking. Sometimes hurt was too big for him to heal but he felt he could help by doing the mundane tasks that would overwhelm us in the midst of heartbreak, grief and trials. We would jokingly tell my dad to get his superhero cape that we had errands for him and one day he bought himself one that he wore proudly but mostly to make us laugh through our tears. I do not know how many shirts my mother washed that we stained with mascara and tears as most of his children at one time or another could be found wrapped in the safety of his arms weeping out the sorrows of our hearts.
As we have been gathered this week, there were remembrances and universal themes about my father that continued to come up. My father was tenderhearted. Some said how generous he was. How kind. He wanted to make everyone happy. He was devoted to his family. He always wanted to help us and this was said by both children and grandchildren. He would always tell us he didn’t have money when we were growing up but he always had money in his wallet. Always…He could not stand to have an empty wallet. When we were younger, the money in his wallet often may have been the only money my parents did have until the next paycheck but he always had money in his wallet. He hated contention. He was a peacemaker. He always had to run errands. He wanted to be going somewhere. He would be in a hurry to get somewhere and would start jingling his keys when he was ready to go to the next place or go home. He quietly led and did not need the spotlight. He could do handstands on the diving board. He could roller-skate and could even roller-skate backwards. He loved hiking and camping. He went to girl’s camp every year for many years as the Priesthood representative. He used to sunbathe by the pool. Some of would have rather been hit than to have him tell us, “I am so disappointed in you.” He didn’t have a lot to say but when he did we wanted to listen. We knew he loved us even though he didn’t have a lot to say. As soon as money was less of an issue for my parents, he would always pay for everything. He wanted to take care of us still even after we were grown. Only he knew how to load the dishwasher right but we wish he would have discovered this before we all left home. He loved the newspaper and read it every day until his eyesight began to deteriorate. Oreo cookies were usually available and he would stock the jar but if it was empty he would always make a special trip to get Oreo cookies for his grandson Alex. He let the grandkids put bows in his hair and comb his hair. He couldn’t stand to talk on the phone but would listen to us visit in person for hours. He loved his tough guy image and would often say, “I am smiling you just can’t see it.” He was faithful in church attendance and rarely missed. He had the worst taste in eye wear. Why the ugly eyeglasses dad?? Why? He hated chipped nail polish on any of his girls. He loved the baptistery! He loved his service there and we loved that this was one of the ways he chose to stay busy when they moved here (St George, Utah). My sister Kathryn said that she and her family knew that serving in the temple blessed him and was an incredible example to her children.
As generous, as my father was and he was so generous, he could be unbelievably cheap. Sometimes we would slide extra money to waiters after he had just taken us out to eat and insisted on paying the bill. He hated tipping in restaurants. We grew up with a father who worried about money but who would always tells us, “If it’s only money, you have no problems.” However, he would be the first to try to solve our problems with any money he had.
My father valued education, regardless of what stage of life he was in or we were in. He wanted us to pursue as much education as possible. He couldn’t put all of us through school but he did all he could at whatever stage each of us were in our lives and he in his, to support our educational pursuits.
My father had an unshakeable testimony of tithing and supporting missionaries. He had and would continue to tell each of us to always pay the Lord before we paid anybody else.
Priesthood blessings were mentioned most consistently. My father truly had a gift for giving beautiful and inspired priesthood blessings. One granddaughter said, “His priesthood blessings were some of my favorites.” Several of us gained testimonies of the gospel specifically because of the way dad honored his priesthood. I will miss the warmth of his hands being placed on my head and the feeling of peace that would wash over me as soon as my father would being to pronounce my name as he started a blessing. His Father’s Blessings brought each of us through some of our darkest moments thus far.
His grandchildren remember him for making the best “bug juice” which was a special fruit drink he loved to tease the kids about. They remembered that he wanted to make them happy. Tiffiny would sit in his recliner just so he would kick her out. Alex, as a little boy, loved his rides in the white truck. He LOVED his grandpa’s truck. His oldest grandson Noa said he remembered big bear hugs where grandpa would act like, “I was squeezing the paste out of him.” Noa who is also an adult and a father of three told the things he learned that I am so sure my father was pleased to hear him say. He said, I always had such a feeling of peace and love and acceptance from him and that from grandpa he learned that you do what you need to do to provide for your family. He said, I learned the value of women…how much he respected grandma and his mom and his girls. Noa remembered him staying steady and staying on the path. My father would have been honored my those remembrances.
My dad was not perfect. He mellowed with age but as we were growing up he was a disciplinarian. We knew without questions where the boundaries were and we knew not to cross them. Russ told of the time that dad sold their motor bikes after they had told not to ride them on the streets and they were caught breaking that rule. We all had a healthy respect for my father.
My father loved to provide service for his family but no service was greater to him than the service he could provide my mother.
The only thing that eases the burden of our loss of our father is knowing the tremendous burden he was facing in losing his eyesight and his ability to drive. He would have hated being dependent and more then being dependent he would have hated not to being able to run errands. Although this day is hard, we know my parents were facing hard days ahead and we feel blessed that my father was spared losing eyesight, his license and his freedom.
He was our hero, he was a husband, a brother, an uncle, he was our daddy, our father, a grandfather, he was our patriarch and most especially he was our knight in shining armor. We love you and your influence in our lives more than any eulogy written for you could ever express but I hope in some small way I have captured your spirit dad. We will go on and be happy however, you lived your life well and we will feel your loss deeply.
1 comment:
Oh, Susan, this was so beautifully written! You have such a gift of expression. I feel like I know your wonderful father. I am sorry for this hard loss (so thankful that we know it is temporary!) Please know that I am thinking of you. Thank you for sharing this. Love ya, girl!
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